Blue Hawaii
The Blue Hawaii is the classic blue drink.
Blue drinks are made with blue curaçao,
which doesn't taste different than orange curaçao,
it just looks more exotic and tropical.
But as George Carlin once pointed out, there is no blue food.
Most recipes for a Blue Hawaii use light rum or even vodka,
but since these liquors have very little taste,
the drink winds up tasting like pineapple juice with a little curaçao.
Spiced rum gives it a much better taste.
Even coconut rum can be used, but the drink winds up tasting a lot like a Piña Colada.
Other recipes are also split as to whether or not to add a dash of milk or cream,
but if you have it, go ahead and put it in.
It gives the drink a smoother, creamier look and taste.
If you don't have half-and-half, or at least whole milk, skip it -
use 4 ounces of pineapple juice.
Milk with a lower percentage of milk fat just makes the drink watery.
Be forewarned though - the citric acid in the pineapple juice curdles the milk,
but once you shake it up it looks and tastes fine.
A blender works even better.
Shake all ingredients with ice, or
Margarita
Although the Pigmaster no longer partakes of tequila,
the Barkeep has spent quite a bit of time in Margaritaville.
He learned the hard way that there are vast differences in the quality of tequilas,
and that fresh lime juice is worth an extra trip to the store.
When he was young and stupid, he made Margaritas with a 3:2:1:2 ingredient ratio.
They were very dangerous.
Now that he is old and stupid, he makes them with this somewhat less potent formula,
but he drinks more of them.
Shake all ingredients with ice and serve in a glass with a salted rim.
Choice of a glass:
Classic wide-brim stemmed Margarita glasses hold more salt
(which may be important to serious sodium addicts),
but they also have a high center of gravity and
can be harder to control when the going gets weird.
The Barkeep finds that a stemmed tulip glass is a good choice
for most of the drinks on this page -
it retains the pseudo-elegance of stemware,
yet it doesn't slosh and spill quite as much.
Tequila will impair your hand-eye coordination, so plan ahead.
Preparation of the glass:
Put the end of your thumb over the mouth of a bottle of
Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice
,
turn it upside-down once,
and wipe your thumb around the outside of the rim of the glass
(use Rose's only on the rim - not in the drink - unless you
Southside
The Pigmaster subscribes to Chesapeake Bay magazine,
the July 2003 issue of which had an article about a drink called a Southside.
It claimed that the drink originated at some snooty country club in 1929
and that the secret formula was handed down over the years by the club's head bartenders.
The drink had recently become an underground sensation in the Bay area,
the article went on to claim, because one of the retired head bartenders was selling bottles of
the secret Southside mix out of the trunk of a maroon Buick Century for $18 a bottle.
The mix is "a top-secret blend of mint and lemon and sweeteners"
and is supposed to be combined with equal parts of Mount Gay Rum and club soda, with a wedge of lime.
However, the Pigmaster and the Barkeep will rarely spend $18 for a bottle of wine,
much less for a bottle of cocktail mix.
What is it they say about a fool and his money?
So the Barkeep scoured his vast library of bartending books for Southside recipes,
and found several as far back as the early 1930s that were based on gin, not rum,
and that included the juice from half a lemon, sugar and mint.
No secret, or even rare, ingredients.
None of the recipes included triple sec, but the Barkeep found that just a little
improves the taste of the drink quite a bit.
- 2 oz. gold rum
- 1/2 oz. triple sec (optional)
- 1 oz. strained fresh lemon juice (juice of 1 small lemon)
- 2 tsp. sugar
- 2 sprigs of mint
- club soda
Put the lemon juice into a glass.
Add the sugar and stir until it dissolves.
Muddle in the mint sprigs with the back of a spoon,
rubbing them all around the inside of the glass
(and wiping down the sugar that got away).
Fill the glass with ice, add the rum, fill with club soda, and stir gently.
Serve with a straw.
A Southside is essentially a Mojito made with lemon juice instead of lime juice.
The Barkeep would recommend a Mojito instead, unless you really don't have any limes...
While purists only use white rum in a Mojito,
gold adds just a little more rum flavor that goes so well with the mint and the lime.
Purists also put the half lime shell into the glass (before the ice),
which is fine if the glass is large, but if space is at a premium,
more ice makes for a colder, more refreshing drink.
The Barkeep always orders a couple of Cuba Libres during the annual lunch at Stoney's two days before the pig roast.
He likes them at lunch because the caffiene in the Coke helps to counteract the sedative
affect of drinking alcohol in the middle of the day.
But he always has to explain to the waitress what a Cuba Libre is.
They are always impressed by the depth of his knowledge of cocktails and history.
While purists will insist on muddling a slice of orange and a maraschino cherry,
we are much more likely to have orange juice than an orange in the refrigerator,
and why slice open an orange for one drink?
These are fairly strong, so one is usually quite enough.
And why bother mashing open a cherry when the jar is full of the same syrupy juice?
